if you like me you must not know who I am
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
