I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
