Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
