Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
