If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we're so committed to being not committed
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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