Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
