if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
