please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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