Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
