everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize