Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
