so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
