but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i think i just lost a toe
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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