My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
