I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
