I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
