We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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