This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
