so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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