I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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