Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
