exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
