the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
