I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
