moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize