yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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