I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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