he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
