yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
