btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
