Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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