just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Boobs are out for the taking
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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