rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
