I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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