if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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