would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
