Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
