yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
