Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize