Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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