what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
