were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
