you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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