Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

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  (602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop
  Replies (38) Good night (8613) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow

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  (941): so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow http://tfl.nu/gsjr
  Replies (15) Good night (3411) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you're out of your mind

  (518): View more from New York

  you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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  (518): you're out of your mind (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence http://tfl.nu/wmaw
  Replies (11) Good night (758) Bad night (2152)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  (479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu
  Replies (8) Good night (1300) Bad night (6819)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.

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  (908): So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all. http://tfl.nu/ms6m
  Replies (3) Good night (4438) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

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  (402): He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him. http://tfl.nu/b1lr
  Replies (8) Good night (3847) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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  (480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom
  Replies (2) Good night (2712) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.

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  (904): Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically. http://tfl.nu/529h
  Replies (6) Good night (1401) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.

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  (623): By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us. http://tfl.nu/p1x8
  Replies (12) Good night (1376) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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  (402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?

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  (610): alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair? http://tfl.nu/af29
  Replies (6) Good night (1246) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader

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  (631): he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader http://tfl.nu/jd8g
  Replies (6) Good night (654) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.

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  (337): She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last. http://tfl.nu/3f1e
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?

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  (402): Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"? http://tfl.nu/zps2
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?

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  (513): Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/9zj7
  Replies (5) Good night (253) Bad night (212)

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