Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you

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  (781): Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you http://tfl.nu/mzki
  Replies (13) Good night (1305) Bad night (985)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high

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  (502): Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high http://tfl.nu/lasc
  Replies (21) Good night (8426) Bad night (971)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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  (732): I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore http://tfl.nu/xlhh
  Replies (65) Good night (2261) Bad night (5166)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

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  (814): Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends http://tfl.nu/5yet
  Replies (77) Good night (7633) Bad night (1354)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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  (678): My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family? http://tfl.nu/vek9
  Replies (72) Good night (2032) Bad night (8103)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?

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  (316): I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen? http://tfl.nu/l8m2
  Replies (22) Good night (1216) Bad night (5873)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?

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  (773): why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"? http://tfl.nu/okve
  Replies (9) Good night (5902) Bad night (1371)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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  (603): You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!" http://tfl.nu/jokx
  Replies (9) Good night (5128) Bad night (1083)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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  (509): He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother. http://tfl.nu/97xz
  Replies (20) Good night (6365) Bad night (1434)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room

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  (864): i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room http://tfl.nu/jsw5
  Replies (22) Good night (8179) Bad night (1551)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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  (203): Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm http://tfl.nu/zhmu
  Replies (10) Good night (1041) Bad night (1821)
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  (310): View more from California

  Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?

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  (310): Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end? http://tfl.nu/mjc4
  Replies (3) Good night (1903) Bad night (656)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.

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  (304): I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay? (1-304): Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime. http://tfl.nu/2vyh
  Replies (6) Good night (1641) Bad night (473)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover

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  (608): I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover http://tfl.nu/qezu
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (431)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.

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  (303): I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle. http://tfl.nu/isj2
  Replies (0) Good night (1229) Bad night (353)

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