I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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