fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.