i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF