I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I still have a little drunk in my system
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
