Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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