Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
