I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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