I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize