Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's like heaven, but drunker
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
