I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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