If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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