There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
