as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
