We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
