just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
