Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
