wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
