Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
