Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
