carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
