His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We had sex on a dog bed..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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