I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
