erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
