if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just want nice things and good sex
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
