Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
