You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
